When Should You Contact a Divorce Lawyer? 7 Early Warning Signs

A divorce lawyer is a legal professional who advises individuals on the process of separation, asset division, and family law rights. Contacting a divorce lawyer early can help you understand your legal options, protect your financial interests, and prepare for potential custody or property disputes. Many spouses miss early red flags that indicate a partner is planning to leave the marriage. Recognising the signs early gives you the best chance of securing your legal position and planning for what comes next.

Deciding whether you should contact a divorce lawyer can be difficult, especially if you are unsure whether to separate from your spouse. It is not uncommon for one spouse to unilaterally decide to separate without any warning or notice given to the other spouse. Contacting an experienced divorce lawyer will assist you in knowing what your next steps are, should you decide to separate. This blog will explain 7 early warning signs that you should contact a divorce lawyer. These signs, whilst not conclusive, are important to consider, especially if you already suspect that your partner is considering divorce.

1. Changes to bank accounts

Financial independence is one of the first things people seek when contemplating separation. If your spouse begins transferring funds from joint accounts into personal accounts without explanation, or if new bank accounts suddenly appear, it could be an indication that they are preparing for life apart. While some financial reorganisation is normal, unexplained or secretive changes such as moving large sums of money, altering account signatories, or redirecting paychecks suggest an effort to gain control over assets. Your spouse might also be establishing their own credit history to ensure financial stability after separation.

These actions can affect how assets are divided later, especially if funds are being moved to conceal wealth. Speaking with a divorce lawyer at this stage allows you to understand your rights, track financial movements appropriately, and take preventative steps to secure your share of the marital property.

2. Secretive behaviour

If your spouse does not want you to know that they are planning on separating from you, their behaviours may become secretive. They may begin to be vague about where they are going on a daily basis, suggesting they no longer value honesty in the relationship. They may also change passwords to bank accounts, their mobile phones and other electronic devices to purposely withhold certain information from you. If you notice that the words “separation” or “divorce” are in the search history of any shared devices, this could also give a clear indication of their intentions of divorce. They could also be secretive about their financial decisions. If you have access to your spouse’s transaction history and see they are spending money uncharacteristically for example, at a hotel or on solicitor’s fees, this may be a warning sign. They may also try to alter the asset pool without your permission before property settlement proceedings begin. This could put you at significant legal risk.

3. Frequent absence from the family home

If your spouse is consistently avoiding the family home, this could be a sign they have become unengaged with the marriage, or they are avoiding potential conflicts with you. For example, they may make constant plans with friends or colleagues after work.

A spouse who begins spending increasing amounts of time away from home may be emotionally detaching from the relationship. Regular late nights at work, new social habits, or ongoing commitments outside the family environment can indicate avoidance, either from tension within the home or from the relationship itself.

While occasional distance can be normal in any relationship, consistent avoidance can suggest deeper issues such as dissatisfaction, conflict fatigue, or plans to transition into a separate life.

If you notice your spouse seems disengaged or indifferent to family life, it may be an early stage of separation. Speaking to a lawyer doesn’t mean you’ve given up on reconciliation, it simply ensures that, if separation occurs, you understand your legal and financial position ahead of time.

4. Communication breakdowns

You may have noticed that there has been an increase in aggressive or confrontational communication including regular arguments with each other. Your spouse may also show an unwillingness to respond to concerns you have about their behaviour and instead, may dismiss, deny or ridicule these concerns. Aggressive communication is not the only indicator. You may also find there is no longer any emotional connection between you and your spouse. If you are having difficulty engaging in conversations or sharing your honest feelings with each other, this may be a sign that your spouse may have “mentally separated” from you and no longer desires to have a deep connection.

A lack of open and respectful dialogue not only harms the relationship but can also create uncertainty about shared responsibilities, parenting arrangements, and finances. If you find that discussions about your future together are impossible or one-sided, it may be time to seek advice from a divorce lawyer. They can help you understand your options and guide you through the steps to protect yourself if separation becomes inevitable.

5. Changing legal documents

Whilst physical and emotional distancing may be a sign of divorce, this is not absolute. However, if your spouse has made changes to legal documents such as Wills, signatories to accounts or a Power of Attorney, this could be a more conclusive indication of divorce. By changing these documents, your spouse will be seeking the detachment of legally bound documentation and agreements.

Such actions are rarely accidental. They reflect a deliberate move to untangle shared legal and financial ties. For example:

• Updating a will to exclude you as a beneficiary.
• Changing signatories on bank or investment accounts.
• Appointing a new power of attorney to replace you.

These changes can have serious implications, particularly if they affect access to joint assets or decision-making authority. A family lawyer can review these developments, explain your legal standing, and help ensure that your rights are not being eroded without your knowledge. Early legal advice can also help you secure interim protections while the situation unfolds.

6. Experiencing Domestic Violence and Seeking Safety

If you are experiencing domestic violence, physical, emotional, psychological, or financial, it is vital that you have a support system of people who can help you safely remove yourself from the relationship. A family lawyer can help by finalising your divorce but also by connecting you to domestic violence services and hotlines. Domestic violence can take many forms, including controlling behavior, isolation, threats, intimidation, and manipulation of finances.

Your safety must come first. If you feel unsafe, contact emergency services or local support networks immediately. A family lawyer can play a crucial role in this process by:

• Assisting you in obtaining protection or restraining orders.
• Helping you secure safe housing or emergency arrangements.
• Guiding you through the legal steps of separation and divorce while maintaining confidentiality.
• Connecting you with domestic violence support services and counseling resources.

No one should remain in a situation where they feel unsafe. Legal support can provide both immediate protection and long-term stability, helping you begin the process of rebuilding your life in a safe and structured way.

7. Informal agreements relating to property settlement

When couples begin living separately, it’s common to have initial discussions about dividing assets, managing debts, or organising living arrangements. However, while informal agreements may seem straightforward or amicable at the time, they often lack legal enforceability.

If you and your partner have already started to separate, you should also ensure you get the assistance of a lawyer when entering into any agreements regarding property division. If you have already entered into an agreement without the assistance of a lawyer, it is not binding. This means the other party may have the opportunity to make further claims against you in the future.

In Australia, for example, informal property agreements are not legally binding unless they are formalised through proper legal channels, such as Consent Orders or a Binding Financial Agreement. Without this formalisation, either party can later challenge the arrangement or make further claims, which can lead to costly disputes and emotional strain.

Even if you and your spouse are on good terms, it’s important to seek legal guidance before signing or agreeing to any property division. A divorce lawyer can:

• Review and formalise any existing informal agreements.
• Ensure that all assets and liabilities are disclosed transparently.
• Protect your financial interests and help you avoid future legal complications.

Engaging a family law solicitor early in this process provides security and peace of mind, ensuring that your agreements are fair, lawful, and enforceable.

Conclusion

It is important to detect these warning signs as early as possible, so that you can speak with a solicitor promptly. They will help you protect your assets, provide advice on interim agreements, and avoid you entering into informal agreements that may not be enforceable. If you have detected these warning signs, speak with one of our accredited family law specialists today.

Recognising early warning signs in a marriage is not about giving up, it’s about being proactive and informed. Whether your spouse is becoming financially secretive, emotionally distant, or taking legal steps toward independence, seeking advice from a qualified family lawyer can make all the difference.

A lawyer can help you:

• Protect your assets and financial position.
• Provide clear advice on separation, custody, and property settlement.
• Guide you through safe and legally sound next steps to apply for divorce.

The earlier you seek legal advice, the more options you have for safeguarding your future and reducing the emotional and financial strain of separation. If you’ve identified any of these warning signs in your relationship, don’t wait until the situation escalates, contact Accredited family law specialist in Sydney today to discuss your options confidentially and take the first step toward clarity and protection.